Potty training personality types: Identifying your child’s personality & learning style
How we approach potty training will vary based on your child’s unique personality. Here are some examples of personality types and how we can approach potty training for each:
Knowing your child's type tells you how to approach it. Knowing what to do on day one, day three and after the first accident is where most families get stuck.
The Potty Training Program walks you through it day by day →
Stubborn
I think most parents would probably describe their toddlers this way! But just because a child is strong-willed or stubborn doesn’t mean that they will be more difficult to potty train – as long as you know the best way to approach it before you get started. Children are stubborn because they are control freaks. Typically, everything needs to be their idea, they are stuck in their ways, and tantrums/meltdowns are more prevalent. Since these children don’t do well with change, they are going to need to be eased into the idea of potty training. Once the process starts, it will be important to allow them to have a certain level of control (or perceived control). They aren’t going to respond well to being told when to use the potty or using the potty at set time intervals. Instead, follow their lead, use simple prompts, and they may do well with some rewards (more on that later). At the same time, they are likely going to be testing to see what it will take to get their diapers back, unconvinced that the change is permanent, so it is important to stay consistent with them.
Thinker
This child tends to be an observer. You can practically see the gears turning when they discover something new. They tend to be shy, more comfortable around adults than they are other children, and like to play independently. These children often do best when introduced to potty training in the form of books or videos. Role play be a great tool in this instance because it can really help them understand the mechanics of potty training. There will be kids on each end of the spectrum when it comes to privacy in this group. Some won’t release on the potty if someone is in the room, and some may want their parent holding them while they sit. It’s important to do what it takes to make them feel comfortable. You may encounter challenges at daycare or with another caregiver as they may be too shy to ask for help using the potty. It can help to have a meeting with parent, child, and the caregiver so they understand that it is okay to ask for help if needed.
Prefer to read it all?
The digital bundle is the written version, covering how to start, poop refusal and the nighttime diaper, without the video lessons or the calls.
See the bundle →Easygoing
This is the child you would classify as “easy”. They are good at sharing and strive to seek your approval. They are able to go with the flow (literally) without much complaining or resistance and likely won’t protest getting rid of diapers or sitting on the potty when prompted, making them fairly easy to potty train. Using a timer can work well so they have a predetermined time of when to stop playing and use the potty.
Silly
This child is a ball of fun. They usually have no problem speaking to strangers (adults or other kids alike). They tend to be very verbal and play well with others (although they are likely the leader of the pack). They can sometimes have a hard time sitting still or behaving appropriately in certain environments.
They also love to be the center of attention. This child will do well with potty books and videos that are fun and silly. Once potty training starts, I suggest keeping a special basket of toys/books near the potty that they only get to play with during potty time. This child might find accidents funny, and will try to get a reaction in any way possible (with good or bad potty behavior), so be careful to only react to the GOOD potty behavior and be minimal and matter-of-fact when there is an accident.
Ready to start, whatever their type?
The Potty Training Program is the full step-by-step method: 49 video lessons, 5 printable guides and a weekly live Q&A with me. It covers how to start, refusal, poo fears and nights, so you always know the next step.
If you’re struggling or just curious, feel free to book a 30-min consult or check out my eBooks.
Sasha Romary
Certified Potty Training Consultant
Sasha works with families across the world on potty training, toddler sleep, and behavior. She takes 40 to 50 calls a month and has helped thousands of families get through what felt impossible in a matter of weeks. Her approach is practical, specific, and grounded in child development, not trends.